Thursday, 28 August 2008

playing skittles

I receive emails from the Cancer Charity that I support, todays asked me if I read the e-newsletter and what ideas I had for revamping it.

I never read it, and don't usually read the emails. I coped with my breast cancer by being frightened out of my socks, slowly recovering some equilibrium and ever since, about every six months, descending on the doctor witha new ache that i want to be reassurred about. Not very mature perhaps but that's the best I can do.

I reckon spending the rest of my life fighting morbid thoughts is burden enough, without adding new information on which to brood.

The cancer was twenty years ago now, and I don't think of it every day, but getting newsletters doesn't help this rickety fence of denial.

I am willing to support the ladder to help out others who find themsleves in a similar hole, but in the main I want to get on with Life.

The shock did make me re-assess to some extent, I became much less - discontented, less ambitious, not so full of myself. But of course I also have become much more full of myself, hugging myself close..................that's only human, being able to hold fast to two totally opposing positions at the same time.

It is heartening that throughout this time others that have been skittled by the dreaded Big C mostly seem to still be with us, so I guess the money is at least going to good effect.
PS Didn't have a piece involving skittles, so this merry romp is meant to remind me to have fun.

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