moving on

To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost. - Gustave Flaubert

Maybe that is why I am a bit miserable at the mo, I am not stupid enough.

Here I am about to be a grandma and all I can do is whitter and slither, and wish I could stay here and watch "I'm Celebrity get Me out of Here". Excitement and risk from a safe distance.

I am stupid.

Proved by gleefully watching such rubbish.

But not stupid enough - to get onto that plane and sit comfortably miles above the jungles without a care. I don't want to get into that tin can, I don't want to leave the ground.

Flying is the safest way to travel, even driving to the next village to the mobile library van just now, was probably more risky but I chatted cheerfully all the way, blissfully [stupidly] at ease.

And when i get there........at least the new generation will look at me slightly out of focus and not judge me, yet.

What will my two make of their aging p? Will I be calm and steady, rock like in my support through post natal depression, chef like in dishing up eatable meals to all and sundry.

It is universally acknowledged packing is a pain, and I haven't started yet. What to take, what to leave. Against all instincts there is a huge book shop in Reno, and a small second hand book shop within walking distance. But I can't make up my mind which books I Need, to make sure I have with me, and should I keep them safe in hand luggage or risk them in the hold.

Grand-baby has a rather large new shawl I have crocheted, that must travel with me; auntie [grand-auntie?] Cinders' teddy bear can just busk it in the hold; I guess my mothers knitted bootees and helmets should go with shawl................decisions.

M newly back from Bogota puts me to shame, all cheery and bright from her colourful experiences, she has given me a security blanket to lull my nerves. Doesn't double as a parachute however, so it won't.

Shoes!!! how many? Daughter has battalions, roughly my size, but all have high heels which my feet will no longer sustain.

Oh dear.