cold and grey

I am a spoilt petulant pensioner this morning, not a pretty sight. When I was away last week it was up and out, not wandering around with a vague headache not wanting to do anything, but knowing that the thing i do worst is Nothing.
The weather is atrocious, cold, wet grey.
We have had a double radiator fitted while we were away in the NE Wing, as that room is never warm. Now if we keep the door closed and lean on it the blood does continue to circulate in our tired old veins, rather than coagulate in cold hard lumps round our wizened hearts.
The Committee Ladies of the recently formed Stitching Forum have disintegrated into Apprentice type squabbling and resigning while I was away, so embarrassing.
When I was young, [tra la] we women were all consciousness raising and working together to change the world. Now so many women are wearing pink, pole dancing and tearing at each others jugular.
Obviously I have stayed away from their meetings as I am well aware that these days
I am much too paranoid to wish to be in any committee, as I know the in-fighting will lead to tears before bed time. I edit the eNewsletter instead and encourage creativity and sharing, much easier
If I was on The Apprentice I would probably throttle myself within minutes trying to stop myself saying something that would start a war. The Women's team lost this week. Even in the Charity version recently the female team, who won, were apparently daggers drawn within hours.
Men just seem to form a battalion and charge, often in the wrong direction but they save their in fighting until they have worked out who the real competition is. I guess it is all those team games.
I played hockey at school. No i didn't, I was put in goal and snarled at the hard balls hit at me till they let me go and sulk elsewhere. I don't want to compete, winning or losing is embarrassing and I definitely don't want to be anonymously in the middle.
Also I have no forward planning, having refused all board games [except Risk] since I could toddle. RP bought an version of the Roman game 9 mens morris or whatever at the Villa visit and instantly beat me hollow, he was cheating by planning ahead.
Daughter is very competitive and fits in much better in the States where it is viewed as admirable. On the other side of the cent American women are often so supportive and encouraging, purring praises that in our self depreciating culture would be suspected to be sarcasm.